Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I feel seasick, and I think I almost got kicked out of the Verizon store

Today is one of my work "9 to 5" work days.  I work on the tenth floor of a 17 story building. Our city gets a lot of wind. And on days like today, when it's *really* windy, the entire building rocks.  The vertical blinds in my cubicle sway.  The walls creak.  And I start to feel seasick.  My head starts to swim. I get nauseous.  And I feel so dizzy I don't think I could walk a straight line. I don't know who designed this building, but they should have their designing privileges revoked!

I'm kidding about revoking the design privileges.  I'm sure any good engineer would tell me that the swaying is a *feature* of the building, designed to make it more resilient in the wind.  Or some bologna.  But seriously, it sucks.  (On a side note, I hate that bologna is spelled in a way that totally doesn't say "baloney"). 

Anyway, since I was feeling seasick, I decided I should go look for a new cell phone because my old one was on its last legs.  Now, I know this is probably treasonous for someone who is supposed to be tech-savvy and such (i.e. a blogger), but: I don't have a smart phone.  I'm on the phone enough as it is; if I had the internet or email, I'd never cook or clean or do any of those other important life things.

So I went into the store and tried to explain to the salesman that I really didn't want a blackberry or a droid; I just wanted a basic phone.  He scoffed, and told me how behind the times I was.  He proceeded to take me over to the smart phone display and try to make me swoon over their features and apps and abilities to make me breakfast in bed in the morning. 

I smiled politely and asked if they had any more "basic" phones.

"I really think you should consider a smart phone," he said.

"I have, and I don't want one," I replied for the twelfth time. I could tell he was getting fed up with me.  I sure wasn't helping him meet his quotas today.

"Is it the features that intimidate you?  Because we offer free classes for users like yourself where we can help you learn how to use the different apps and stuff."  Do I look like I'm 70 years old?  "Really?" I said in disbelief.  "No, that isn't my problem.  I can figure out how to use a phone."

"Well then why don't you want one?" he huffed.

"It's expensive, and..."

He cut me off, "Oh, no it isn't!  We just added a plan where you can sign up for as low as $15 a month."

"Yeah, that's a lot!" I said.

"Fifteen bucks?"  He was very exasperated.  "That's hardly anything!"

"Fifteen bucks times 12 months" I said, "that's, oh, $180 a year.  If you multiply that by 60 years or so that I might have left of my life...that adds up to thousands of dollars!"

"Well, if you look at it that way then I GUESS it seems like a lot," he sniped back at me.  "But you don't have to keep it forever!"

Yeah right, Mr. Verizon Cell Phone Guy?  At what point in the foreseeable future can you envision everyone just giving up their cell phones?  Getting back to a simpler, less tech-y life?  That's what I thought.

I know I can't put it off forever, but I'm not giving into the smart phone without a fight!


  1. What a pain! I know, mr annoying verizon salesman was probably on commission, and trying to push you into a new phone is his job, but I'd be annoyed! You clearly stated what you wanted, and he clearly didn't care to let you get what you wanted.

    However, I totally disagree with you. As sad as it is to say this, I can't imagine not having my smart phone.

  2. @Megan - that's part of my hesitation: I know I'll never want to give it up if I get I'm resisting. But I know it won't be long before I can't put it off any more!

  3. I hate cell phones...i really do.

  4. Hey!! Have you looked into the iPhone? I know! I know! It's like a little piece of heaven with yummy champagne cream cheese icing on top. But, I can understand if you are only wanting "just a phone," and not all that fancy stuff. It sounds like you just need an inexpensive device to make the occasional phone call - nothing more. There may be places that offer used phones from folks who have traded in their old phones for the Blackberries and iphones.

  5. @Adriana...I know that feeling!

    @Wildcatter's Wife: Oh the iPhone! That's the worst of them. And by worst I mean most tempting and hard to resist! If you actually threw in a glob of that delicious-sounding champagne cream cheese icing, I don't think I could help myself!