Friday, May 27, 2011

Totally inappropriate...and my husband apparently won't defend my honor

We spend a lot of time in various home improvement stores: Ace Hardware, Home Depot, Lowes.  The usuals.

Last weekend, we were - unsurprisingly - at one of said stores.  I was feeling a little carefree: not in a rush to get anything specific, just enjoying a lazy Saturday.  So I was browsing: smelling the flowers in the garden center, trying to figure out how to work the weed remover in the garden tools aisle, using a collapsible rake as a back know.

And I found this:
A rocking garden seat.  I was pretty excited about it, so I plopped myself onto the thing to give 'er a try. And, since it's a rocking garden seat, I was rocking - front to back instead of side to side.  And I'll admit, I was rocking kind of *vigorously.*  I wanted to make sure the thing could stand up to lots of wiggling and tipping.

All the sudden I hear, "That's a garden toy, not a bedroom toy."

I turn around.  It's a complete stranger.  A middle-aged man dressed in khaki board shorts and a very red Hawaiian shirt. He gave me a very brief creepy smile, but didn't break his stride.  Then he disappeared around the corner.

"Did he just say that?" I asked my husband who was pretending he didn't know me perusing the shovel selection.

"Umm...yep.  Yes, he did," he said.

"That was really horrible.  And totally inappropriate!  And I wasn't even *being* inappropriate!! I could have been making WAY more inappropriate gestures with that seat.  Aren't you going to do something?  You should say something to him.  I am your wife after all.  What ever happened to defending my honor."

"Yeah.  It was inappropriate.  But I'm not in the mood to defend your honor today.  Let's go check out raised garden beds."

Thanks, husband.  Thanks.


  1. I'm guessing you didn't buy the seat? haha!

  2. Hahaha I didn't buy the seat. But my husband sort of wanted me to!

  3. Wow, some people sure have some nerve! I think I'd probably be a little annoyed that my hubs didn't say something as well, but your hubby probably just thought that dignifying this comment with a response was beneath him. You know what...if he felt that way...he's probably right.

  4. Haha, Jocelyn. You're the kind of reader my husband likes to see: the kind that sticks up for him! But, for what's it's worth, I think you're probably right.