Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I laugh at my husband. Now you can, too!

My husband provides me with endless hours of entertainment, most of which I blame on the fact that he's an engineer, which makes him say ridiculous, sort of nerdy things.

So today, I thought I'd share some of the hilarity with you. I hope it makes you smile.

Exhibit A: I apparently know nothing about fruit flies...
We have a fruit fly problem. I don't know why.  It's not like I even go to the store often enough to have fresh fruit sitting around. Somewhere, I heard that you could put out a glass of apple cider vinegar to trap and kill the fruit flies. So I tried it. This was the result:


See how there are no flies actually IN the vinegar, but there's like a billion flies climbing around the outside of the glass drinking the vinegar like it's some kind of sweet nectar, which is apparently providing them with the strength and liveliness to breed like rabbits (or maybe the saying should be “to breed like fruit flies”) and take over my house?

Yeah, so not effective.

Which I mentioned to my husband. He walked over, took one look at the glass, and got a smirk on his face. He look at me and shook his head slightly as if to say, “You silly, girl. You don't know how to do anything, do you?”

Then he said, “Of course it's not working. It has to have a positive meniscus.

A what now? The only time I'd heard that word was in reference to some cartilage inside someone's knee. And I sure as heck didn't know 1. Where I would find such a thing and 2. What the devil it had to do with fruit flies.

Turns out a “positive meniscus” means I have to *almost* overflow the glass so the vinegar sort of forms a bubble on the top, which traps the flies. I guess you learn something every day.

Exhibit B: I might need to rethink my technology...
When my husband and are both at work, we like to email back and forth – like instant messaging, but through email. 
 
Lately, I've been working on our semi-annual newsletter, and I brought it to the professional print shop to print this week. 
 
While I was at work, my husband called me, but I hung up on him cut the conversation short when I saw the representative from the print shop in the hallway. After I'd talked with him, I emailed my husband.

Sorry…my printer stopped by and was standing outside of my door staring at me.” I said. 
 
He sent back,That seems like odd behavior for a printer. Was it an HP?”

And that's why I married this man.

17 comments:

  1. LOL! You really have to send this to Reader's Digest. :)

    We have the fruit fly problem too. I use a glad of some fruit juice, vinegar mixed with a few drops of alcohol and dish soap.

    I'm intrigued by the plate because my mother used to have the same kind. Do they still make those?

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  2. I swear we are living the same life(sorta) everything Mr Engineer said is what my Mr. Know-It-All would say.

    There is a lot of humor in being married to someone like that.

    Do you have a remedy for the common house fly. I don't like using sprays with cats and dogs in the house. If so please let me know. Oh and don't say fly swatter please. LOL

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  3. Oh my hell!! The very first thing that caught my eye about this post is your plate! Those are the plates I grew up with! My mom bought those Corelle dishes because they're supposed to be virtually unbreakable, and my sister was, well...a clutz! Unbelievably, she still found a way to break them. My poor mother!

    Anyhoo, that picture took me straight back about 30 years. Well, without the fruitflies. ;-)

    Thanks for stopping by over at my place. Can I be annoying and ask you how you found me? I just spent about a half hour clicking through your tabs and plan to come back later to read through through the rest of your archives. (What? I'm on vacation!) Your son is ADORABLE!!!

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  4. I LOVE the makeover!!!!!..never heard of using that to kill fruitflies....good ole` fly swatter methods used over here. I couldn`t have a cup of anything sitting out just in case it attracts another kinda bug. : )

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  5. What a fun post! My husband is also an engineer. Sometimes I have to say, "You know it's like you are speaking English but I can't understand you." The tech talk just goes right over my head.

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  6. OK, that's too funny. He sounds like a real catch, this geeky engineer man of yours. :)

    A little help, in case you didn't get it elsewhere, with the fruit flies. I do the apple cider, vinegar and water. THEN add dish soap (makes it harder for the flies to get away), THEN, put plastic wrap over the top and punch a bunch of holes in it. They'll wiggle their way in to get to the yummy smelling stuff, then they'll never get out. Wa, ha, ha, ha. It worked like a charm last year. I set it out, went to bed, and woke to 10-15 dead bodies floating around in the glass. It only took about a week and the infestation was gone.

    Thanks for visiting. I'm excited to meet you!

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  7. {insert cliche engineer joke here}

    Great post! My dad in law was an engineer and yeah... it's just their way.

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  8. LOL! That's too funny. My hubby is an engineer too so I totally get it!

    I think it's sweet that you guys stay connected all day with emails. :)

    Good luck with the fruit flies! Scientific name likely Drosophila melanogaster.

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  9. That is just too cute! btw... whiskey works better ;)

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  10. I'll admit that I slightly picked up on the positive meniscus thing - to the point that I new it should "go up" but then I was like, "wait...how do you do that with the glass half full?!" <--- I know, don't say anything!

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  11. @Amanda and Heligirl: I may change strategy and use your suggestions. Turns out I'm not very good at pouring a "positive meniscus." Good thing I'm not a bartender.

    @Amanda and ChiTown: the plates are actually from my mother-in-law. She gave them to my hubby when he moved out, and I just held onto them. We grew up with the same plates, but the pattern was blue, so I know what you mean!

    @Linda: I'm glad I'm not alone! Haha. And you're right...there is a lot of humor in being married to know-it-alls. I wouldn't change it for the world. As for houseflies, I've seen fly traps at the hardware store, but I've heard they smell really awful... And I'm not really sure how they work! Yeah...I'm no help.

    @Jessica: When the tech talk comes out, I do a lot of smiling and nodding. But I enjoy it nonetheless.

    @GreenAcre: Thank you; I'm glad you like it. And now you have me freaking out about new bugs. Gah!

    @Lost.In.Idaho: You're right. There's no changing an engineer. Luckily, I knew what I was getting when I married him, so at least I'm prepared.

    @Jocelyn, I suspect you're right about the name. Do we have a biologist in the house?

    @Mary: Is the whiskey for me or for the flies?

    @Jessica @MySimply: You caught on more than I did, so no judgment from me! Haha!

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  12. You gotta love a funny man! And yes...I smiled! :)

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  13. i totally get it. i'm married to an engineer too. My husband would have said the SAME thing!

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  14. Sorry! but I have done that with mere ant traps...the raid kind and they were like water coolers for bugs. Threw them out right quick and stocked up on fly swatters ; )
    Thank you for the compliment..I sure am a lucky mama : )

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  15. You say engineer like its a dirty world, I think I might be offended.

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  16. @cmom: Glad I could give you a smile.

    @cam: it's so much fun being married to an engineer, isn't it?

    @Greenacre: I'm glad you warned me!

    @Mrs. Tuna: Nothing but engineer love here. I wouldn't want my husband any other way.

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