Friday, August 12, 2011

How to get a husband

My husband and I are celebrating our fourth anniversary.  On the one hand, I can't believe we've been married for four years.  On the other, sometimes it seems like we've done as much in four years as we thought we'd do in ten.

We started reminiscing about the beginning of our relationship, and I was trying to convince him that this has all been part of a well-laid plan that began almost 11 years ago.  He didn't buy it.

Either way, I figured I'd share my husband-snagging tips, just in case they're useful to anyone out there.

1. The first date: make sure it's something embarrassing, so that you can both pretend it never happened.  Example: Go to Homecoming at age 15 wearing a faux snakeskin dress paired with the ugliest shoes you can find.  It's also a good idea to get your purse stuck in the seat belt of your date's mom's minivan on the way to the dance forcing you to abandon your emergency lip gloss and other teenage girl essentials.

I'm not even going to make any excuses for this.

2. The second date: don't bother with this one. Just stay "friends."  I'd also recommend getting a job together at, say, a library.  Make sure your mother is your secret crush's boss.  Nothing like a little preview of what life with the in-laws might be like to make a guy stick around, right?

3.  While at this job, try to woo your future spouse with clever techniques like pretending you can't water the houseplants that decorate the bookshelves.  I know pouring water out of a jug into a planted pot sounds like a pretty basic skill, but 16-year old girls are apparently incapable of such things.  Either that or the only way they know how to flirt is by playing the dumb and helpless routine.

4.  Move three thousand miles away from each other to go to college before deciding you actually want to be more than friends.This ensures really good communication so you don't do things like accidentally continue to date other people because you didn't understand that you were actually stepping your relationship up from "just friends" to "100% exclusive" given that you never had a face-to-face conversation about it.

With a foundation like that, how can your relationship be anything but smooth-sailing?

Just a couple years later, we got married.

We got this dog.

We had this baby.

We bought this house.

And, I can tell you with certainty today that I wouldn't change a thing about our life's story.  It's made us who we are, and I'm proud of the life we've built together.  Four years is just a drop in the bucket compared to the 60 that I hope we have to come.


  1. It seems you did at least one thing right! That is a gorgeous bride picture. Actually they all are. :)

  2. I hope my girlfriend and I are just as successful as the two of you.

  3. Congrats! You have a lovely family!

  4. Congrats and Wish you many more happiness on this occasion. Hope the tips are helpful at least something related to it if happens. Nice post and pictures.

  5. Cute story! And I loved all of the photos as well.

  6. Congratulations! best of luck to you both in the years to come. Also? I LOVE that homecoming dance photo! You two look adorable. :-)

  7. Great story. My wife Jilda and I have been married 37 years and you would not believe how quickly the time passed.
    We are still having a great time. Hang in there even if there are days he makes you so mad you want to gut his head off with a sharp knife and mail it to his mother in a hatbox :)

  8. Very sweet story. Congratulations on four great years. I'm only a year ahead of you, celebrating 5 years next Friday. Man, time flies doesn't it. I do love that you have known each other since high school!

  9. Congrats. My husband and I are also high school sweethearts. We've been married 13 years, but we've been to together for 21. That's a long time when you are in your early 30s.

  10. Congrats!
    Also, that puppy is adorable :)

  11. Well that was heartwarming... and I must say i'm a fan of the faux snakeskin dress, screw the haters.

  12. Congratulations! I, also, went to the prom with my (ex)husband. That was 25 years ago!! We had been dating just over 6 months by then, and (gasp!!) engaged for 3! We did wait at least another 5 years before we tied the knot, but I still laugh about about how quick he bought me that diamond. I actually wore it to prom, even though my parents knew NOTHING about it at that point. He asked my father, on the morning of my graduation, if he could give it to me for a graduation present. It was years later before my mother noticed that I was wearing it in our prom picture. By then, we were already married, so what could she say!?

    In a VERY interesting twist of events, it seems we are back to being a couple, all these years later. Who-da thunk it?!

  13. Congrats on the happy four years together! :)

  14. Congrats! My DH and I are coming up on 7 years together...feels like 70. HAHAHA.

  15. Cute story and pictures! Congratulations!!

  16. Congrats! What a sweet story of your relationship. I married my high-school sweetheart too, we went to the prom(s) together as well! I actually posted my even more embarrassing prom picture awhile ago. Love your pics!
    Sarah @ made in usa challenge

  17. I have a new favorite picture! Would it be weird if I made it my computer wallpaper? It might be weird explaining the picture to my co-workers but the faux snakeskin really makes it worthwhile! :-)

    Another comment on that picture. Your husband totally has the look that says "Guys, I'm sooo getting laid after this!" (sorry, was that inappropriate? I just call 'em as I see 'em! LOL!)

  18. Oh, and I forgot to say, most importantly...


  19. Your wedding dress DEFINITELY made up for the shoes at the prom :)

  20. First of all, those shoes are hawwwwwwt. Don't let yourself think otherwise.

    Second of all, happy anniversary!


  21. @Amanda: Thank you! It's definitely one of my favorites.

    @DWei: I hope you two are as successful as us, too!

    @Timothy: Thanks! I think I'll keep them.

    @Madrassi: I hope they're helpful, too! Haha.

    @Clifford, @Gigi and @Stephanie: Thank you! You guys are so sweet.

    @Crystal: Haha! I'm glad I'm old enough now that I don't just cringe and shove it back in the drawer every time I see it.

    @Come at me: Glad you liked it!

    @Life101: Wow! 37 years is amazing. That's really an inspiration. And as far as the guts in the hatbox: I assure you I have no idea what you're talking about ;) lol

    @Heligirl: Congrats on 5 years; that's awesome!

    @DKL: Thanks!

    @Jessica: That is a long time! That's great, though. I love sharing so much life history with my spouse.

    @Ruth: Thanks!

    @Inverse: Glad someone finally appreciated the puppy! I love her. And think she's super cute.

    @Mike: I'm with you! Screw the haters!

    @Chitown: That is such a funny story! And that is a very interesting turn of events. I hope to hear more!

    @Sentence: Thanks!

    @Brittany: Congrats! And I know that feeling...

    @Aleta: Thank you!

    @Sarah: I'm definitely going to check out your pics. I love embarrassing high school pictures.

    @Momnextdoor: LOL! You totally crack me up! And, yeah, he has that look a lot...

    @Mommy in Law: Thanks, Roni! I definitely feel like I made a step in the right direction.

    @Jessica: LOL! If I still had the shoes, they'd be all yours. And thanks!