Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Mommy Fail #127: Using the English Language

First, I owe you all a HUGE thank you.  You, my dear friends, have kept me in the Blogger Idol competition to the top FOUR.  I really do owe it all to you.  I'm not kidding.  So thank you.

Second, I am going to tell you a story about me failing.  It isn't really a mommy fail, but if you want, I could blame it on sleep deprivation or all my brain energy being taken up by avoiding the Duplo block minefield of my house or simply the fact that I have a child.  That would be lying?  Ok, you're right.  This one was just plain me.

To start this story, I'm going to ask you to vote for me in Blogger Idol because it is actually relevant to what I'm about to tell you (voting has ended; thanks so much for your support!).  This week our task was to post about family, specifically family traditions.  I wrote a post called, "My family traditions may have come from the trash," which should have been followed with, "but that doesn't mean they aren't as good as yours," but it wouldn't fit in the box.

And here's the fail: When I first submitted this post, the title read, "My family jewels may have come from the trash."

I showed my husband the post yesterday, after I'd turned it in.  I was talkin' myself up, telling him how awesome I was, explaining to him that this may very well be the best piece I've ever written (no, not really).  So he agreed to read it.  Upon reading the title he said, "I bet your dad would be pretty insulted that you think his balls came from a dumpster."

Well...I suppose you have a point there.  I don't really know why it didn't click, but for some reason "family jewels" to me sounded like "heirlooms."  But even admits that family jewels are, in fact, male genitals.

At least if I get voted off this week, I can blame it on testicles.  But, instead, why don't you go vote for me so I don't have to do that.


  1. Oh... I feel bad, but I am LMAO-ing over here! Don't worry, Mama, I've done the same kind of thing while sleep-deprived. I totally voted for you, simply because one little mishap like that should NOT deprive you of being our next Blogger Idol! :-)

  2. Your husband is right. Maybe because you're a woman of your gender, you didn't see the connotation of "family jewels" as the little guys who dangle below Little Al. Not family heirlooms. They're not passed down from father to son. Well, not literally, anyway.
    I'm glad I kept reading because:
    I wondered why a woman (of your gender) would even talk about YOUR family jewels. Because, unless you're Chaz Bono, a woman (of your gender) isn't supposed to have family jewels. Come to think of it, neither is he/she/WTF. But, that's another story for another day.
    But, it's an understandable mistake.
    After all, you are a woman.
    You know the rest.

  3. OMG, this is hilarious! We do EXACTLY the same thing!! I don't know if I've EVER bought tissue paper! :)

    Great post, I voted. Actually, I tried to vote twice, but it wouldn't let me. Stupid voting thingy. :(

  4. Oh Damn, I have tears in my eyes.. family jewels, LMAO. You got my vote!

  5. Laughing my butt off! Whew, this one's priceless! But don't lose any sleep over it. Hmmm...what I mean to say is, we've all been there. Okay, going over to vote now.

  6. The whole "family jewels" thing TOTALLY went right past me - and I live with two guys! How funny. Am off to read and vote.

  7. I read, I voted and came back to tell you this.

    You SURELY must be related to me in some way. Because I would have done the same with the tissue paper! And the bows. Seriously.

    I mean really? People actually throw that stuff away?!?!?!?

  8. Yes. When in doubt, always blame it on the male plumbing.

  9. HaHaHa!!! Happy to vote for you and your, er....jewels.

  10. I'm gonna go the opposite route and say if you win it's because of the testicles.

  11. I just read your post on Blogger Idol and voted for you! I love this story about the inheritance of being a saver and not a waster. I am the same way and find it exhausting and frustrating to be in situations where waste is so abundant, where people demand highly priced items for presents because they associate money with value. So thank you for writing this story on Blogger Idol! Good luck :)

  12. These are the hairest jewels I've ever seen...

    Followed because you're funny. Also sending a link to my wife. She doesn't know what family jewels are either.

  13. I'm gonna keep on voting for you, cuz it's the only thing I know how to do

  14. Voted, as always. :)
    You're in the final four! :)

  15. First of all - congrats on top four.. and then: lol! :))) You really made me laugh.

  16. Dohohoho, that's not a typo you want to make.

    That being said, maybe you'll win because everyone will be reading it now.

  17. LOL. I thought the family jewels was a nice touch myself. I would have left it. I tried to vote for you..not sure if I did it right. :)

  18. D'oh! Who knows, maybe that faux pas might actually help out....

  19. @Crystal: Thanks! And I'm glad you got a good laugh.

    @Inverse: I'm with you on a win. Haha.

    @Al: Yeah, I know the rest. I can own up to being a woman when I have to.

    @ChiTown: Heck ya! Buying tissue paper is lame ;) Thanks!

    @Aleta: Glad I could entertain! Thanks for your support, too!

    @Lindy: I am glad to know that I am not the only one who makes mistakes like that.

    @Gigi: I know! Who does that??

    @Julianna: That's pretty much the story of my life.

    @Jessica: My jewels appreciate your vote :)

    @Kyran: Hey, I can get behind that as long as I win!

    @K: Exhausting and frustrating so accurately describes how I often feel about wasteful people. I grew up on the opposite end of the spectrum, so it's so hard for me to understand!

    @Adriana: Thanks, girl!

    @nowaysj: Well, I hope your wife can learn from my mistake! And welcome!

    @Timothy: I appreciate that! And hope you never learn to do anything else. haha!

    @Sentence: Thanks! And, yes! Final three now!!

    @Marina: Glad you laughed, and thanks for the support.

    @Mary: You rock! Thanks.

    @Sylar: Thanks :) Glad you enjoyed it.

    @DWei: I definitely hope it works that way.

    @Laila: Thanks! You probably did it right.

    @Bobo: It seems to have worked! I made it to the top three!