Monday, September 12, 2011

Can you explain something to me?

Would you believe that me winning Blogger Idol was not a good enough reason for my son to stop the obnoxious habit he's developed of finger-painting whatever happens to be for dinner on the table? Then when I told him he better get with the program and learn to use the big boy potty or I'd put my people in touch with his people and the results would not be good, he smiled at me and peed on the floor. Finally, I had to come to grips with the fact that this new-found stardom was not going to be my personal easy button when I woke up at six this morning with a 25-pound toddler sleeping on my head.  On top of my head.

So, it turns out that it's back to real life for me. And I'll be the first to admit that there are just as many things I don't know now as there were four days ago.  I'm hoping some of you have the answers to life's deep questions, though.

First, there's Katy Perry's new song: "Last Friday Night."  It's not the song itself that I take issue with, just a couple lines.  You see, she says, "Think we kissed but I forgot," but just a few lines later, "Then had a ménage à trois."  My question is this: how do you remember a threesome, but not a kiss?

Next up we have drivers (particularly those from the great state of California) that drive in the left lane.  All the time.  Even when there are no other cars for miles except me driving behind them, wanting to pass (in the left lane like the law says).  Are they actually unaware that they are supposed to drive in the right lane?  Or are they just being jerks?  Or is there some joke that I'm not cool enough to know about?

Last but not least, how does Mother Nature know exactly when I'm getting sick of my summer wardrobe?  This morning, the temperature had dropped about 25 degrees, the smell of fall was in the air, and I got to bust out my sweaters that I'd just started fantasizing about.  The timing could not have been more impeccable.


  1. That is odd about the Katy Perry song. I've heard it a few times but never caught that. You'd think if you remember the three way, you would remember the kiss

  2. Maybe the kiss wasn't so big of a deal? People drive that way here too and they don't live out of state unless they moved from CA, but I think it is more they don't know what fast lane and slow lane are.
    Good luck on the potty taining.

  3. Good point about the Katy Perry song. It's Katy Perry though, not William Blake so maybe it's not worth over analysing. Cool to hear you're embracing Winter though.

  4. He peed on the floor? Cue the Exorcist music. XD

  5. It's good to know that even with your new found fame, you still have to do what the rest of us "normal folk" do.

  6. Well rats. I would have thought for sure that fame would have given you an easy button. I'm going to have to re-think my goals now.

  7. Oh, I hate that it's-all-over-back-to-reality thing... I'll keep my fingers crossed that Little Spaghetti learns to use the potty sooner rather than later!

    Don't you know that menages-a-trois totally cancel out kiss memories? It's scientifically proven! (okay, so I made that up... I just hate to think of you losing sleep over this! Lol...). Not sure what to say about those drivers, though...

    Also, I'm SO glad you're embracing Fall, too! I'm waiting for a cold front to hit tomorrow so I can finally bust out my jeans and put my fan away. Apparently you're one of Mother Nature's favourites!

  8. Left lane drivers are doing what they do in Walmart:

    "This lane is mine. It is my squishy, and it is mine."

    Sorry for the reality check, oh Great and Powerful Blogger Idol. Kids are good for that sort of thing, aren't they?

  9. Maybe the threesome had so much kissing that it overshadowed the earlier one?

    Also, your son reminds me of a cat. Seriously, who else does that sort of thing.

  10. Quick story, I was dating a guy and everything was peachy. Then I started to realize that he ONLY drove in the left lane. I asked him why and he said so he didn't have to worry about slow drivers. I asked him what about when he's the slow driver in front of someone else. He said they could just suck it up because he wasn't going to move over for them. I broke up with him shortly after. Who wants to be with a prick?

    I love living in a place with seasons because as much as I love summer, I get tired of my summer clothes too!

  11. Oh, and totally rude that your son doesn't understand the awesomeness that is you! Someone needs to teach that boy a lesson if he doesn't understand that you are THE Blogger Idol! :-)

  12. LOL
    My grandson went through a phase where he was afraid to flush the toilet (it over flowed once and scared him) so he peed in the cat box, until his mother caught him! LOL

    The left lane drivers... they are SO IRRITATING! They all just think they are the God of all Gods... (I wish they'd take a TRUE look in the mirror! LOL) My husband is one that thinks the waters (drivers) should part like the Red Sea just for him... I tell him I love him, but he simply is not that special. LOL

  13. @Lunatic: That was my thought!

    @Ruth: You're probably right about them not knowing the fast and slow lane...but...that's pretty basic driving knowledge. I'm afraid of what else they might not know.

    @Yeamie: Yeah, yeah, I's only Katy Perry. But still, it's called logic, songwriters!

    @Sentence: I've heard peeing on the floor is a pretty typical kid thing. I sure hope so!

    @Mark: I know...normal folk it is for me.

    @Gigi: Hard news to hear, right? I wish you more success with your success, though!

    @Crystal: You're too funny! I hope you get some sweater weather soon, though!

    @Lost in Idaho: They most certainly are. And you're so right about Wal-Mart lane hoggers.

    @DWei: That's pretty good reasoning on the whole kiss thing. And, my son does love cats, so....

    @Momnextdoor: Wow...what a tool. I don't use that word much, but it totally works for that guy. Good work on ditching him!

    @Toqua: Haha! That's too funny. I'm so glad I don't have a litter box.