Sunday, January 15, 2012

How not to go to the bathroom

I've had a revelation:
Take this weekend for example...

I was doing a little bit of shopping at the local mall when my (now fully potty trained) dear little boy told me, "potty!"  Naturally, we abandoned what we were doing and rushed to the nearest bathroom.  As we were nearing the little hallway to the restrooms, I dropped one of the bags I was carrying.  I bent down to pick up what had fallen out of the bag, and I let go of Little Spaghetti's hand for a split second.  I looked up, just in time to see him disappearing into...the men's room.

"Noooooo!!!" I cried out in overly dramatic slow motion.  I couldn't have imagined how many panicked thoughts would run through my head in the span of the next few seconds.  What if he decides to roll around on the floor?  What if  he reaches into a urinal!  What if he reaches into a toilet!?  What if he decides to grab some unsuspecting gentleman's behind while he's just trying to pee in peace?!?  Oh, the germs! The embarrassment!

But what was I to do?  Find a male security guard to send on a search and rescue mission?  No, that would take too long, and I wouldn't chance leaving my kid alone in a bathroom for any amount of time.  Knock gently on the wall and ask for someone to kindly return my kid to me? That could work, but what if nobody picked him up right away?  Imagine how many things he could touch.  Or lick.

Just as I was getting ready to duck and cover and sprint into the men's room with my eyes averted as best as I could while frantically searching for my toddler, he turned around and wandered back out to me.  I let out a huge sigh of relief at the awkwardness I'd so very narrowly avoided.

So, today's parenting lesson: when you're within 500 feet of any bathroom with an open door, don't even think of letting your grip on your child's hand loosen.  Not even for a second.

On the plus side...he seems to have learned to pee standing up all the sudden.  I'll count that as one in the win column this time.


  1. I can definitely understand what you mean about parenting, you surely do pick up a lot. Great story too, you're right to count it on the win column!

  2. For future reference, you knock loudly on the door and say "I'm coming in to get my son."

    Most guys don't care, if they are in there at all. Sadly, I have done this many times because up until they were like 8, they washed their hands but then proceeded to have soap wars in the bathroom. *sigh*

  3. Males have an instinctual urge to pee standing up. It's embedded into our souls...

    ...wait until he learns how to spell. Phase two will kick in, and he will be writing his name in the snow/dirt with yellow ink....

  4. I'm with Julianna but I have also had my son tag along with another Dad (and no I didn't know him) just a nice guy I meet at the PTA.

  5. Julianna is right. We don't care if you personally come in to use the stalls much less to grab your kid. Although we'd feel sorry for you since we are such potty slobs. Seriously, we never get better aim, not even at age 44.

  6. Bud never did this to me but he's starting to question why he ALWAYS has to go into the girls room. I feel bad but I'm not about to let him go into the men's side by himself! The GERMS!!! And you know he would touch every part of that urinal! ICK!

    I'm glad i also have a daughter so I don't have two to worry about.

    Note to self: Don't go anywhere with Bud unless my husband is with me.

  7. My little man is now old enough to know he's going into the girls bathroom and he complains A LOT. But he's still too young to go by himself (he's only 4). The whole boy thing makes potty break so complicated.