Sunday, August 5, 2012

Kids say the darndest things: the embarrassment has just begun

Having a toddler that can talk is by far the most entertaining stage of parenting yet. Everybody knows that kids say cute things, but when it’s your own offspring talking, all those funny things come out somehow even funnier.

A few weeks back, Little Spaghetti said to me one morning, “Mama, I love you!”

“How much do you love me?” I asked him.

He replied without hesitation, “Forty cents!”

You know, though, forty cents worth of love feels pretty darn good.

 This kid loves him some goggles.  How can that not make you smile?
 Then a couple weekends ago we went swimming in our in-laws’ pool. Little Spaghetti decided he was done swimming and would rather run around the pool. There were lots of adults still in the water, so I decided to let him have his fun, though I knew he’d almost certainly fall in the pool.

I went inside to grab something, and thirty seconds later, Little Spaghetti came marching into the house sobbing and drenched from head to toe. “Mama, I fell in the pool AND DIED!” he cried.

Later that week he was telling my mom about the incident. She said to him, “But you didn’t die. You’re right here. You’re alive.”

He looked at her sternly and said, “Gwamma, I am not alive. I’m a boy.”

Hard to argue with logic like that. Seriously, with this kid around, I laugh so much every day of my life.

Sometimes it's more fun to wear goggles not in the swimming pool.  Less risk of dying.
But then there’s this other component to speaking. The one where your children start to say things out in public that you have no control over.

We are trying to find new friends since our move, so we went to a play group recently. The group was for children 1-2, so Little Spaghetti was a little bit older than most of the kids. And he definitely talked more than most. The tots were all playing pretty quietly when all of the sudden my kid started crashing some plastic cars into each other and shouting, “They’re dying. They’re dying. They’re DYING!!”

All of the other ladies in the room just looked at me with a combination of shock and disgust that silently said, “What on earth is this woman teaching her child!?” All I could think was, “Just wait until your kids start talking!”

As much as I enjoy this new talking phase, I have a feeling the embarrassment in my life has just barely begun.

What about you? What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever heard a kid say? Any advice on the best way to react?


  1. I found the first story about loving you hilarious but the last story made me laugh uncomfortably just because I imagined the sheer embarrassment you must have felt when your child said that in front of the other parents, like you say just wait until their children start talking too! I love the photo of him with the goggles on too, he's loving them haha, so cute.

  2. Little spaghetti + Goggles = Absolutely adorable!!

    I love what he said when he feel in the pool! That's so something Bud would say! LOL!

    Just wait until he starts telling his teacher all the embarrassing stuff! That's super fun!

  3. Oh, it just gets better....believe me! Lucky you though, you've got a blog to record all these memories. Back when mine was small I had to rely on memory....which really didn't work out as well as I'd hoped!

  4. Your son is SO CUTE! I 'love' how he's really into the goggles. Even if you don't post them all... be sure to document all the wonderful silly things he says... as trust me... you won't remember (not even 6 months) down the road!

    I have grandkids... no way I can remember anything my own kids said! The best advice??? Just laugh 'with' it... Perhaps the other mothers were wondering if you'd laugh. Many times after you laugh they will too, and laughter opens doors.

  5. Hey, it's your crazy new friend Heidi Ferrer from we bonded at the BlogHer '12 conference re: our mutual dislike for loud parties :-) Thank you for being so nice. I was a bit lost last week! Your son is adorable and I relate to the super cute talking phase- it just gets better, trust me.